Week 1 of Momming

Leaving the hospital with a newborn as a First Time Mom, was an emotional experience. No more calling in the nurse when you can’t get the swaddle just right, no more food delivered straight to my bed and no more reassurance that if something goes wrong that there are doctors are a few steps away. Now once home it’s all us.

Week 1 Accomplishments:

1. First Dr appointment

2. First outting and car ride

3. Mastering diaper changes without crying

4. Mastering clothings changes without crying

We started to get the standard congratulating calls and texts during the first week. What everyone always wanted to know is how D was sleeping and if we were sleeping. Well... He sleeps like a newborn... Sporatically, without knowing night from day, and only for a few hours of a time. That being said though, even when he is cluster feeding for 3 hours straight in the middle of the night its impossible to look at him peacefully sleeping or feeding and feel any kind of frustration. I feel like I’m still riding high on endorphins that keep me from feeling grumpy from the lack of sleep.

What I truly believe to be our saving grace with bringing D home and getting him accumulated is Husband’s egalitarian view of our partnership and partnering. When we discussed having a child my biggest concern was I would be the one making the largest sacrifice to my being. That I would become the default parent and my indentity would fade into my child’s, while my Husband was able to keep his drinks with friends, workout routine and work schedule. Throughout my pregnancy this was my only and constant worry. My feminist Husband of course reassured me throughout that we would be different. Only time will tell and he goes back to work tomorrow. What I can comment on is what has worked for us in D’s first week.

First off, c sections are a BITCH. I don’t wish major surgery on anyone let alone during a transition into motherhood. That being said there were things that we had already discussed for infant care that made for an easier transition.

1. We decided on Formula feeding. This is something I decided very early on in my pregnancy. I read a ton and I know all the “breast is best” campaign material as well as all the Mommy shaming that happens around the decision. However, at the end of the day FED is best for our family. Husband was able to jump in right away and handle feedings while I was healing. He was able start forming a precious bond with our son that I’m not sure would have been the same if I was his dependency on being fed. It has also transitioned over very well for ensuring we both are getting our nighttime sleep in.

2. Sharing night duties. So far we have been splitting first shift and second shift. With one of us going to bed at around 9 and picking up duties at 2. And the other sleeping 2 to 8. We purchased The Everyday Mother tracking book that we keep on his changing table to note his feedings and diaper changes so when the next person starts their shift they know what had happened throughout the night.

The Everyday Mother

3. Optimizing our sleep. We opted to be a little untraditional in our nursery by not having a crib set up. Currently we have a pack and play in bassinet mode and a twin bed. During our “shifts” we sleep on the twin bed and let the other get as full of a sleep as possible in our master. At switch off, D is placed in the cosleep bassinet in our bedroom and when he wakes the next person grabs him and moves to the nursery. So far it has worked very well and speaking for myself when Husband has D I haven’t been waken and I’ve had full trust that “Dad can handle it”. 4. A well set up “work station”. Nothing is worse than being jostled awake to a crying little one and trying to make a bottle, find the pacifier, deal with a poopy diaper all while searching for the Boppy and burp cloth. Its taken some finessing over the week, from making sure the lightening was right and establishing the best place to do a night feeding. But now we have the routine down and the items exactly where we need them to transition from feeding, changing and back to bed smoothly.

Everyone is different and especially every baby. These are just what’s been working so far for us to keep each other sane during the transition to parenthood. I would love to hear what has worked for other families!